God, Line 1 is For You

The past few weeks have been challenging. I was out of the country, then dealing with plumbing issues in the attic, then sick for the better part of two weeks, all the while trying to navigate a high stress church season (budgets and Christmas planning).  Let's just say I've not been myself. Today is the first day I have felt "even" again. I knew I'd get here. (That's a lie, I prayed like hell I'd get here.)  It's my day off so I spent a little extra time in my quiet time this morning in a new book.  I have a collection of devo-type books that I rotate everyday. But about 6 months ago I bought a book on my kindle for a book study that I ended up not participating in. And even though I see the title every day when I open my kindle for my readings, today I decided I would begin reading it. (Honestly it was an attempt to experience a much-needed connection with the Spirit.) I'm gonna go ahead and give the Spirit all the credit on this one because what...

If I think it or believe it or observe it, it's valid; it's orthodox.  If you think it or believe it or observe it and it "disturbs" me on some level, I have to investigate.  That's just what I do.  I'm the doctrine police. I wish I would have policed ME like that 20+ years ago when I was professing and proclaiming all kinds of things that did not align with an all-loving, all-merciful God.  I had this one line, ha ha how embarrassing, that went something like this: "Yes, everyone has the right to believe what they want; they also have the right to burn in hell."  I didn't just think that y'all, I said it, out loud, multiple times. When I was in my 20s, my husband and I had just started attending a particular church.  And like good little church-goers, we started going to Sunday school as well.  They were studying a book in which the author was espousing all this love, love, love but there wasn't a sufficient mention of Jesus (maybe none...

I used to write a couple different blogs.  One was for all of my serious religious thoughts.  The other was a decoy to make you believe I could also be fun and playful.  That was more than a decade ago.  Then I put them both aside for many years.  Now I have decided to begin again, on a new page, in one space.  Who knows, I may be the only person who ever reads this.  That's OK.  (Oh, and my spouse.  I'll share it with him too). Something that I feel like God is helping me with is not making everything about me.  I don't know where this comes from.  Maybe my upbringing as the youngest girl in a family of 4 kids.  I spent a lot of time watching things happen around me.  I guess at some point I finally let loose and started demanding equal time and attention.  I don't know.   I've been in the ministry for more than a decade.  And I've been involved in 12 step programs for more than a decade.  When I ...